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Sunday, December 26, 2010

2 days to SP

My mum decided not to send me to KK, due to her meetings and things to be settled up at her school. To be honest, I haven't settled up with my things and I am a bit tensed up. (Tensed up pun nak gtaw kat blog...sungguh drama lol). My mother informed me that she wants her celcom broadband back, and she promises to buy me a new one. whether maxis or celcom.

Thus, we went to Maxis Centre in my hometown. However, we had misunderstanding and we can't understand what was the lady trying to say. It is something related to the usage of my hp bla bla bla. Finally I made my choice. I bought the 3 Gb celcom broadband and mom paid for me.

Till to this extent, I haven't finished packing up my things, books and clothes and I have a bus to catch at 4pm on the 28th.

This is what we should named new semester blue. Everyone is groaning and hesitant to go back to the campus. Let's see what will I face this semester

  • This is my last semester in IPSAH, Sungai Petani.
  • I will receive my last free allowance this semester.
  • I will end up meeting my 6 years friends and bestfriends and foes this semester.
  • I will meet up TESLIAN from UPSI again.
  • I will miss Sungai Petani and Pakcik Kantin.
  • Menerima azab degree twinning dengan membuat thesis. (Still in love with Mr.t)

 May Allah bless my journey.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Impian Terindah

Sometimes, when feelings are very hard to be spell out with words, songs could be the best one to express what we feel and think. I stumbled upon this song by Najwa Mahiaddin, and it really describes my feeling. (yes, I am heart broken and jiwang...just shut up lol).

Najwa - Impian Terindah 

Terjaga dari mimpiku
Bayanganmu seakan di sisiku
Mungkinkah ku masih dalam khayalan
Bisakah jadi kenyataan

Tahukah kau ku di sini
Menyimpan segala rasa di hati
Mungkinkah kau akan mengerti
Andai ku luahkan semuanya

Kau impian terindah
Ingin ku jadikan ia nyata
Kau ilhamkan cinta
Di dalam hatiku hanyalah dirimu

Tlah ku katakan semua
Ku serahkan kepadaNya

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Kenny Rogers, and Harris

My watch shown that it was 12 am. Sighing, another day. I was online in Facebook, then I saw the tab highlighted by orange notification. It told me that I received a message from 'Sunoko Naakhara'. Well, don't ask me who the hell is sunoko nakahara is, I think it is one of the Japanese actor or actress. It is a pseudonym of my cousin from Mum's side, Kak Abby.

"Ella, where are you?"
"KK...Putatan to be exact"
"Whose place?"
"Abg Ian"
"Bisuk masih di sini?"
"What are you doing here?"
"Thesis..reference in UMS"
"Fuiyoo, ganas juga. Dari negeri ke negeri"

Well, hidup kena aggressive sikit, baru boleh berjaya. So, I set a date with Kak Abby. She fetch me at Burger King and we drove to One Borneo. Near to my mother's house in Sepanggar. She chose Kenny Rogers for our late lunch. Tea and lunch to be exact, TLUNCH, I call it.  We were caught in the jam as people in KK are celebrating Christmas.

Kak Abby asked me whether I am going to Dad's place for Christmas. I don;t think so. Yeah yeah isn't there anymore. It's just an empty seat from now on. I will smile on how my yeah yeah forgotten that I am Muslim. He will offer me beers, and several of my relatives will gawk at us, waiting for my answer. That is how we are in Sabah. We are assimilated to each other, and it depends on me how I adapt the situation.

Then we roamed around in Harris, a book shop in One Borneo. With only 15 ringgit in my purse, it is impossible for me to buy anything. I have an eye on Stephen Hawking new book and several other non-fiction. It was just yesterday I purchased 'Dork' by Sidin Vadukut. I was nearly reaching shopping orgasm when I met this book again. Why? I will update in my next post. One thing that I realize about reading. Reading can be expensive. And as a  woman and single (ahem), it is magical when I can spend RM400 solely on books without hesitant, and for sure I have more books than clothes.

Kak Abby sent me home. We talked and talked. About love. About Life. We both agree that marriage is something really 'big'. Quotation of the day:

"Ella, you need to love someone much enough for him to be your husband"

I think she is right.

We arrived at home around 7.30 pm. Abang Ian was already off to Masjid Negeri. 'Kelas Taranum' Kak Ida informed us. We spent time together, playing with lil Sophea. Then, Kak Abby went off, went back to Sembulan. I don't know when we are going to meet again. She is always not in Malaysia.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Azam baru


I want to forget him and being vanished into the air, so he couldn't find me anymore.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Call me crazy...

There are two foods that I can't really reject in peninsular:
a) Tempoyak
b) Assam Laksa

Tempoyak Menu:
a) Sandwich Tempoyak (Yerp, I make it like butter)
b) Meggi Tempoyak (Gaulkan tempoyak bersama kuah meggi)
c) Bubur nasi tenpoyak (Gaulkan bubur bersama tenpoyak)
d) Nasi Tempoyak (Makan cam sambal)
e) UIam Tempoyak (Macam Sambal juga)
f) Ayam masak kicap dengan tempoyak ( ayam beli kat cafe, n gaul ngan tempoyak)
g) KFC tempoyak (Sedap hingga menjilat jari, campur ngan sos cili)
h) Burger maktab denagn tempoyak (Buat macam cheese)
 dan macam2 lagi yang anda boleh bygkan.

Assam Laksa:
Tempat best makan adalah rahsia..hehe...

What happened when you don't gain your parents' trust to drive?

I have this bad habit while driving. Sabahan said 'Suka main minyak'. I will push the oil pedal as in an elephant stomping on the ground. No. I am exaggerating. However, the action would make my mother scared enough when I'm driving. The situation is optimum enough for her hypertension a.k.a Darah Tinggi to be outraged again. While I was driving Nasrin's car in Sg Petani, the situation lead him to 'meroyan' like 30 minutes. Yes, they are my own version of JPJ and I get free lecture on that issue. They are my own version Driving Tutor, apart of my brother who opens a driving school. To be honest, I do';t know how much is my driving license because it's on him. Sayang Abang Ian.

My  mum don't trust me to drive at all. We always come to an argument about cars. I can't even touch the car key. Yes, I solely depending on public transport. It;s not that my parents couldn't afford a car for me. They just DON'T TRUST ME AT ALL. Pathetic and sadness. Rasa cam super tidak disayangi pun ada juga.

Eh, janganlah pulak kata saya tak bersyukur. In fact, I am quiet lucky. TheHowever, when it come to something really big, really need my responsibility, I am still a baby in front of my parents' eyes. Right now, I am frustrated with them. Please, I am 23 years old and I wanna drive.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

11 days to go...

11 days to go back to Sungai Petani, a place where I start to know what is life all about. Then I moved to Tanjung Malim to learn what is campus life is all about, then went back to Sungai petani again to know what is being a practical teacher all about. Oh yeah! stop asking me about this so called Twinning Program all about. Why? because I am surrounded by people who keep asking about the so called 6 years B.Ed TESL program. And I am getting sick when people keep asking these questions:

1) Bila kamu habis study? (When will you finish your study?)
2) Kenapa lama betul kau buat degree? (Why are you taking longer time to finish your degree?)
3) Di mana kamu grade? UPSI or IPSAH? (Where is your convocation? IPSAH or UPSI?)
4) Kenapa kamu terus posting? (Why on earth will you be posted earlier than other TESL students?)

Usually, I would be hesitant to be interviewed with these questions. These were my answers for these questions fro the past 5 years.

1) Lamaaaaaaaaaaaa lagi saya habis...2011
2) Tu lah kan? lambat bah program kami...2 tahun foundation and 4 tahun degree.
4) Because I am sponsored and selected by KPM after I finished my SPM. Of course they wouldnt want to  waste all their money by letting us lazying around.

My answers will be replied with several different face expressions, which I just don't care.
But after went back to IPSAH last year, I realize how different my classmates and I are. We are wayyyy too mature, dan ibarat kata nasren 'KITALAH ABANG ABANG DAN KAKAK KAKAK ITU!" . KPLI students were used to be too matured for me. We used to call them 'ABANG' and 'KAKAK'. Now it is legal to call them 'KAWAN2 KPLI' lol.

11 days to go back to Sungai Petani. I admit that I love the town way better than Tanjung Malim. Cheap food, nice city and nice people. However, I realize that going back to Sungai Petani this time would be harder than any of my trips. THESIS, PEOPLE! Do you hear me YO? There will be more trips to USM. More trips to UUM. I am trying to be positive all the time. One of my dreams is to do research on education and to improve the state of education in Malaysia. This is my first baby step and there is no plan, just do it. Research should be more enjoyable than practical. I bet. I am definitely a people person. (Yeah, I am too cheerful and sometimes my grin makes me look like a schizo--->according to my cousin). However, when I was in my practical, I realised that I need to deal with a pot pourri of characters and work loads. Thanks to that, I lost 5 kgs ...YIPPY!.

There is no turning back. There is no U turn either. I need to face it with an open heart.

Well SP, here I come.

Friday, December 17, 2010

The accent (Let's get serious ahaha)

Ok, this post might be mocked down by several friends. Yeah, I know it is kinda academic. (ACADEMIK LAH SGT YE ELLA) . Anyway, those who know me well, they will know how critical I can be. This is kinda of my post practical reflection. I didn't realize that I develop  my own accent after 6 years learning English to be my second language. In fact, I am learning to teach English as a second language. Nope, I was not born in England, Australia or in any other English speaking country. I was born in a small district hospital, called Hospital Daerah Keningau, Sabah. When I speak English to somebody that just knew me, they will think that I came from a big city, just because of my language. This is an interesting yet it is also disappointed for me. Why? Only orang KL ke boleh cakap English? 

Let me make things clear here. Most of my students are intimidated to speak the language with their friends. They told me that they are shy. The worst reason is they said that they are Malay, and there is no reason for them to speak English. Well, I am trying to be an eye opener for them , encouraging them to speak the language in my class. The reason is they need not to be shy in the class because it is an English class. They should optimize the time given for them to learn English. Through out the development of language education around the world, we could see on how some countries promote other languages in their education systems. A brief example, is America. They have classes for several other languages such as France and Spanish. This is a new trend in Malaysia. In the school that I had my practical on, we have Japanese class and the students whom register for it will have a formal education. The analogy could be practiced with English. English is a language which for me has dignity and its own value like other languages. When we are learning a language, we are learning the phonetics or the sound system. In order to be in a successful path of our learning, most English teacher trainee will practice the sound even when we are speaking in an informal way. Even after 6 years of learning the language, I am still doing silly mistakes. 

I am seriously in vain when people say that those who are speaking English is kinda berlagak, poyo atau apa2 yang sewaktu dengannya. I know it well that Bahasa Malaysia is the formal language in Malaysia. I have an acquaintance of' pakcik gera'i in front of my campus who could speak English very well because he received English education under British Government. In fact, I am glad to entertain him to speak the language. 

And, I am seriously 'geli' to Malaysians who admit that they can't speak Bahasa Malaysia very well just because of they learn English for 4,5 or 6 years.Don't get me wrong. I don't hate them. However, we all know that English is not your native language. Language can be abstract due to the assimilation of races. For a classic example is myself. My native language will be more than 1. It can be Chinese, Kadazan or Brunei since I am a mix of these three races. However, my parents divorce when I was 4, and my mum basically speak Bahasa Brunei at home. Amazingly, I grow up in a society that speak standard Bahasa Melayu and myself have a hint of Kadazan accent. My father and I will speak in English every time we met. My father is an English teacher himself before he joined the Education Division. While I was in high school, I am very active in Bahasa Malaysia Public Speaking, Pantun and Debate. I am simply fond of Bahasa Melayu because I believe that any language is beautiful. Why I wasn't in English group? Well, simply. They are not active on that time.

So why am I writing this post? As a teacher-to-be, it is important for me to change the perspective of English language learners. It is also important to have balanced skills in both Bahasa Melayu and English. I adore Prof Abdullah Hassan. I found his book, an old book in my house, Nahu Bahasa Melayu. However, I can't believe myself that I finally met him in my campus in a seminar. I adore how he appreciate a language. Speaking a language supposed to be beautiful. Although he is a specialist in Bahasa Melayu, I was shocked when he spoke English in his lecture. He speaks English as beautiful as he speaks Bahasa Melayu.

'Tugas Kami ialah Memandaikan Bangsa'

The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.
~William Arthur Ward~

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Encik D dan saya

Saya kenali Encik D pada pertengahan tahun 2009. Kami mula berkenalan di Karamunsing Shopping Complex, Kota Kinabalu. Pada masa itu, saya sungguh teratrik dengan pakaian Encik D. Badannya tegap, berbaju merah saga, boleh jadim idaman setiap orang. Semenjak itu, saya mula bermesra dengan Encik D. Hampir setiap masa kuluangkan untuk Encik D. Encik D pula sentiasa membantu saya dalam apa-apa masalah. 

Tapi bila Encik D mula sakit, terganggu emosinya, saya juga terganggu. Harap-harap Encik D tak sakit lagi lepas ni. Saya sentiasa menyayangi Encik D.

I love you Encik Dell. 

:) hahahaha

A personality test

Found this quiz in somebody blog...

1. Open this website :

2. Take the Personality Quiz

3. Copy Paste the result to your blog, facebook, or whever you want

4. Tag your friends including me :)

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Tag: Ibrahim, Lailee, Mimi

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Like a fool

Have u feel like a fool?
I do.
It feels like a dagger in your heart.
but the dagger is invisible,
which is hurt, and you can't pull it,
It's there
still there
and there is no cure to it
I guess.

Because, even the best doctor
couldn't diagnose what is my sickness,
They can't see it,
They can't feel it,
But the pain is cancerous.
It makes my heart rotten,
and replenish again, and rotten,
and replenish again and rotten.
The feelings is mechanical,
it's robotic.
I think it's too robotic till I act like I have no heart to be hurt.

Ella Chin
Kuarters Guru Keningau
15 December 2010
(10 days to Christmas, which I spent with my beloved yeah yeah for the past years, the best memory, and now I am celebrating how fool I am for the past 3 months)

Friday, December 10, 2010

Anak Murid

Anak murid lagi cun dari cikgu.
Uh! Ini tak boleh jadi.
I need a makeover...

Thursday, December 9, 2010

i realise that...

i realise that by 2011

i will have a job
teaching English is my profession
i will have my first official salary
i will have my own wheelie
i will realise that sooner or later mummy will start talking about marriage
i will need to be less sellfish
I will officially be an adult... <3

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

We love karaoke like heaven!!!

Tell me, who doesn't love to fantasize of being a very good and popular singer, screaming at the top of your lung although fart sounds are Gazillion better then your voice? Who doesn't love to have a small crowd cheering at your voice when you are screaming the highest note of your song? Because, if you said we are syok sendiri, perasan best or whatsoever, I have at least 7 friends who are considered as Geng Bas Sekolah  Geng Karok.

The evidences are here...

'Karaoke Markah' as Nasrin called it in Sungai Petani (Chekgu was singing lagu Ziana, Nasrin as a backup vocal)

Karaoke Jamban in Tanjung Malim (This was taken during Study Week, Pre Exam Anxiety LOL)

Nasrin, I and KJ. (Ratu Karaoke UPSI)
Gombak, Me, Nasrin and KJ (Tired faces, 3 jam melalak)
One of the trips from Red Box Sogo during Study Week, hell yeah, exam drives us  to be like this (Front Seats: Nasrin, Adha, Back Seat: KJ, Atai and I)
What had happened to us?

This will explain...

The 'terconvert' part is actually our inside joke. My buddy couldn't stop 'bahan' me selama tujuh keturunan because people always thought I am converted to Muslim as I still carry my Chinese Surname.

Till now, tanpa karaoke siapalah kami semua...

Majulah Karaoke Untuk Negara

My Nephew, Muhammad Ameer Ikhwan

Witty. Clever but Cengeng.

Ameer and his peace sign

I wonder what were they talking about. (In the coat is Ameer's youngest brother, Aiman)

Ameer: Kak Ella, tell me a story please...
Me: Ok. One day, there was a princess named Cinderella...
Ameer: Ala... I don't like girl's story... Tell me a story about Ultraman...
Me: (Yawning...It's 10 pm anyway, and we were waiting for our mothers in the hotel room in Kudat 
        Sabah)One day, Ultraman Taro met Ultraman Tiga... Ultraman Tiga said ' Hello there Taro, How Are      
        You?"...Well, Ultraman Taro said ' I am fine Tiga. How do you do?' ( is
Ameer: How come Ultraman could talk if they can't even open their mouth?
Me: !@#$%^&*(

Property of Toei Production and Tsurabaya Production

My first picture as a teacher.

Spot Me!

Somehow I will smile every time I look at this picture. Sharmila was late and my handphone's battery was zero. This is the first position, as I remember, the teachers asked me to reshuffle the position again.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Shopping List

HOHO, let's rip our parents' pocket...

Things that I need to buy

  • Loreal Total Repair Shampoo and Conditioner
  • Anlene Choco Milk 700 gram 
  • Toothpaste Medium size
  • Face Foam
  • Tooth Brush
  • Jasmine Tea
  • Ooolong tea
  • Equal
  • Spiral Bound 5 compartments note book
  • A good pair of black court shoes
  • Yardley Red Rose EDT.
Sekian Terima Kasih

Thursday, December 2, 2010


I am an easily annoyed people. Here is the list of annoying matters that already reach my breaking point.

Semester break means u really have a 'break'. However, the idea of having a break is irrelevant if u live a double life like us, which you will be chased by others asking about works and whatever registeration. Commonlah, it's sickening, and as an easily annoyed person, I sometimes could not tolerate the system itself!

Then, here comes the matter of water problem in my area. This problem makes me miss IPSAH so much which we could savour the water as much as we can. I know its a bad habit, yet everyone needs at least 3 medium pails of clean water to bath. Who are you to deny that.

The third thing that could break my patient is annoying message ring tone. If you live in a dorm like me, you could hear all sorts of ring tone, ranging from Rihanna to any sort of wildlife noise. Hey you people, I know I am only using handphone LG RM 95, I can't afford IPhone4 and I know you you have the most advanced handphone in the world. Could you just please respect people around you who are easily rippled to these kind of thing. I need my sleep!!! Please, please and please use a simple ringtone, as you are sleeping with your handphones 24-7 and I am sure you are not deaf enough to hear it rings everytime your bf, teman tapi mesra, sahabat handai or rakan taulan message you.

Fourth is whatever jewellery that makes 'Santa Claus Sound'. I get enough of ring bells from school and I am sick of any bells that the girls wear. I ain't going to preach here, but I think you know the hukum hakam itself, and you could think it yourself.

Well people, I don't hate you. I don't discriminate people on what people do, wear etc. Well, you know how i am being nice to everyone. But this is just too much!

Journal Writing

Dear Diary,
Today is the worst day of my life. I was scolded by my English teacher...

Sound familiar? As far as I could remember, I start writing journal when I was 8 years old. Then it gets serious when I was 13 until now. Tadaaaa...These are all my journals...

I am now engaged with  My Froggy.(Second line, third journal)

Basically I have 9 journals. So what did I write in my journals?

  • All the ramblings. Happiness, the gediks feeling which I cant express, ideas, plans, opinions, thoughts etc.
  • Poems. Good poems, bad poems, poems tak siap, semua ada...hahaha
  • Tickets, pamphlets, or anything that could remind me to places that I went. 
p/s Actually I am going reedit this post. My mind is suffocated from all the ramblings happened in my life now. I HATE EYE INFECTION. lol 

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Teater Dari M ke M

To all Kici Mayung Theater Production,
I genuinely miss you guys.

 punit (make up artist), edwina (perempuan), jes (makcik jual kueh)

Ahmad Shahril a.k.a Abe sebagai Abang M

We were studying before the performance. (From left Terry (Lighting a.k.a Penataan Cahaya), Muah (Art Director), Herman (Sound a.k.a Penataan Bunyi) and William, (Technical)

Still smiling although we are nervous like hell.

Stars/ Para Pelakon
Aisyah- Mona
Abe- Abg M
Edwina- Perempuan
Jessica-Makcik Penjual Kuih


Pengarah: Norfadzillah Chin (gila kuasa  sikit hahahha)
Penolong Pengarah: Aisyah
Props: Adila Musa, Chow Sau Keng, Farid
Juruteknikal Penataan Cahaya: Terry Siricord
Juruteknikal Bunyi dan Efek Audio: Herman
Tatarias dan Pakaian: Jenny, Punit
Handy Girls: Hezy, Maisrah and Nurul
Juruteknikal khas: William

Excuse Me!

Excuse Me!
Allow myself to ask your permission
Allow myself to be imperfect,
Allow myself to believe that beauty is not skin,
Allow myself to have a gummy smile,
Allow myself to pinch the red pimples,
Allow myself to have an eye bag.
Allow myself not to be beautiful but brilliant.

Excuse Me!
Allow myself to ask your permission
Allow myself to have a sharp tongue,
Allow myself to be moody,
Allow myself to be zany,
Allow myself to carve a scar in my friend's heart,
Allow myself to fall in love and fall out of love,
Allow myself to  extra nicer to back stabber.

Excuse Me!
Please allow myself to ask your permission
Allow myself to write a crappy poem,
Allow myself to realize not to give an ear on what you say,
Allow myself to end it here.

Yours Truly,
Allow myself to be anonymous

                                                                                                         Teacher Quarters
                                                                                                          Keningau, Sabah
                                                                                                       (27.11.2010, 19.08)

p/s to this extent, Fadzillah Chin is still not Fadzillah Amin, but she intends to be like her one day.

Friday, November 26, 2010

My room

My mother is going to be retired next March in 2011 from a school in Keningau after more than 20 years being an educator. Sadly, we are going to leave the indescribably beautiful town of Keningau for good. We are leaving for Kota Kinabalu which is my parents' hometown. This semester break will be my last period to  be spent at my home. Although it is only a headmistress' quarters, there are a lot of both happy and sad memories took place in this place. I spent most of my time in my room when I'm home.
My room is also a place where my good friends will overnight if they are visiting me.

1. Desk

This is my work station. I used to have two similar size tables. However, my mother took one of the tables when I went out for my studies in Kedah. The cover is actually a second hand picnic mat that I bought for RM3. The table lamp was bought by my mum when I was in Form 1.Meanwhile, I always have fresh bunga rampai when I'm at home. The fresh fragrant mixture of daun pandan, flowers and saffron oil is a therapeutic element for me.

A side table that I used to put other knick knacks. Yes, I love daun  mengkuang crafts, and I get the 3 sizes rattan basket for only rm 7 in Pasar Putatan, KK.

Bunga rampai, Mr. Dell, Handphones, Mr Zebra, and books
Tonnes of works

2.My books

These boxes are full with my books. Some of my books are already sent to our house in KK. Yerp, you can see there are several other things on top of it (My green teddy named Miss Trudy, my journals, bags etc). One of the boxes is half full with unread books.

3.Mirrors and face stuffs.

The mirror is actually an antique from my late arwah atok. I am not really into make up as you can see. However, I have several facial stuffs that my mum make me to wear. And of course, Vitamins tablets and perfumes. (yerp, a lot of those I know :) )
Lamp from Kak Rose, Perfumes, Vitamins, Face Stuff, Mr Bulat, Wrislet , Kain Puah Kumbu from Sarawak
Mirror Mirror, who is the most beautiful woman? Well, u can see the answer. LOL

4. Posters. pictures and several other stuffs

Student Life by Sireh
Keychains and pictures

I used to buy Malaysian comic APO? when I was in high school just because I love Student Life section. To the extent that I collect the posters and made several of them as pictures in my room. The pictures of clarinet  was given by my best friend Priesilla when I celebrated my sweet 16 birthday.  The Key Chains are collection  given by peoples, friends and simply collected it from anywhere around the globe.

5. Bed

The pillows are bare without the covers hahahaha...The top pillow is actually considered as  my bantal busuk since I was 9.
I used to sleep here for years. Till 5 years ago I decided to sleep with my mum just because I think that I couldnt meet her for months if I go back to the peninsular. However, I will take my nap here sometimes.

6. Windows

This is my favourite curtain ever. That's why it is in my room. LOL. I love the pink hydrangea on it. While it gives soft and fresh touch to my room. I am a type of person who love bright rooms, except when I am sleeping.
It took an hour to upload this senget picture. If you want to see the image clearly please turn  your laptop or head. LOL

Our own natural swimming pool from my bedroom window.
The respective quarters is situated in the school compound.You could see several buildings block my view to the spacious school’s field. Some of the old buildings are still there and there will be a new project to renew them. 


Right now I am

3 tones darker than average Sabahan

Taller than average Sabahan girls

Fatter than average Sabahan women

Am I going through metamorphosis transformation after 6 years?

Monday, November 22, 2010

Happiness is...

Happiness is blank in my primary mind. To be honest, I can't really be happy on what I have, and I am not even really sad when I lost something. What had happened to me? Am I really stoned with too much issues in my life? Sometimes I beg that my old soul will be young again. I used to pray for all these painful memories to vanish into the air.

I used to wish that my family portrait is perfect. With all the big grins on Hari Raya, Gong Xi Fatt Chai, or whatever celebration, you named it. I wish that it is never too late for me to know somebody in my family tree. However, situations detained me to be enable to improve things that had already happened.

I used to regret of letting a real relationship ends. I feel empty when the person left me alone. We had a plan. Maybe one of his plan is to leave me. Who knows? His silence used to be deafening. It used to bleed my ears, which every drop of blood act like an acid to my skin. It penetrates my heart till it crumpled to be a stone and shattered into pieces.

I used to dream this and that. I used to crave for every fine things, every luxurious stuff. Then, I realizes that I wouldn't live forever. 

I still have no idea what is happiness in my life. Is it about love, satisfaction or what? What is happiness? Am I too old to forget this simple single concept? I realized that all of memories are more like a blur picture. My friends make me realize I did something which is unnecessary to hurt myself and others. The worst part is I lost in the sea of questions how and why this thing happened.

Still, happiness is blank in my primary mind.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Simple Pleasure

I wake up early today. Hunger pangs me. My stomach sends a signal to my brain that I crave of half boiled eggs and nescafe kaw. Thus, I drag my feet to our kitchen after morning prayer and start boiling the eggs and make a mug of nescafe kaw.After that I start my day with some reading and journal writing. Life teaches me that simple pleasure is still a blessing. :-)

My Mr. Dell, novel by Carlos Ruiz Zafon, Journal and Breakfast.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Vanish into the air

It has been a long time I never spent my time to sit still and listen to the sound of nature, breath the fresh air, smell the fresh cutting grass and laugh on stupid jokes without thinking of works. Don't forget, eat till I forget that I am on diet. lol.

Where did I go for 3 days?

  • Fahmie's house.
          If you want to know who is Fahmi Abidin, he is one of my closed friends in IPSAH. He just ended his 
degree in Art Education and soon he will be called as Cikgu Fahmi. Nasrin, Jack and I who act as if we don't have our own kampung went to his house for Eid Adha. It is an absolutely an ideal choice to be in his house instead of spending eerie nights in IPSAH.Unfortunately, we hadn't taken any picture in Fahmi's house. By the way, he lives in Kuala Nerang.

  • Uncle Osman's Kenduri
They served the best Soy Sauce Beef. Enough saying. Uncle Osman is a closed friend to my family while he was teaching in Sabah. While we were eating in his kenduri, we came out with a theory that the best tea or nescafe that we could find in Malaysia is Teh or Nescafe Kenduri. Jack came out with the explanation that the village folks are using more milk and tea to serve the best tea.

  • Pekan Rabu
Jacques, Nasrin, Fahmi and Fauzan (another photo shoot experiment)

Those who know me well will notice how I hate shopping for cooking ingredients. I was forced to be in here to buy segala pesanan mak-mak dari Negeri Di Bawah Bayu. However, we took the opportunity to snap several beautiful evening scenes in Alor Setar.
Baru berjinak-jinak dengan kamera Fahmi

Dawn at Alor Setar

  • Old House in Alor Setar 
These kind of houses could be found as an evident that Malaysia was once being colonized by British. We don't know any history of this house. We found this house while we were going to Fahmi's relatives house. Sempat lah jugak pose sana sini hahaha.

Jack, Me and Nasrin in front of the abandoned house with our beloved SAGA.

Model Baju Kenduri (Credit to Pamie)

Di belakang tabir pengambaran

One of my experiments.

Narcissist in action! hahahahaha

  •  Perlis
We were visiting Kathy's house. As the so-called English Teacher-to-be, Nasrin and I were shocked when we found a boy from a village boy who could speak beautiful English. 

Kathy, masakan kau amat sedap!!! sayangggg Kathy hahahha...

Kathy, Kak Cik, Aisyah and Teha

  • Photo that I love the most 
Credit to Fahmi Abidin

First Thing First

  • Celebrating Eid Adha at Fahmie's.
  • Visit Uncle Othman
  • Packing
  • Check In at Bayan Lepas Airport
  • Talk to a stranger which happened to be my junior.
  • Fly
  • Arrive at Sabah International Airport
  • Driving home
  • Kiss and Hug Sophia
  • Buy a trainer
  • Going back to Keningau
  • Read Robert Fisk's book
  • UMS library
  • Ongoing diet

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Sedang menunggu

I am waiting for Nasrin, Fahmy, Kak Cik and Jack to reach SP. They are fetching Jack who is a teacher in Sandakan, Sabah. In few days, it will be my turn to be sent to Sabah.
Sakit pinggang tunggu korang.
Oh! stor takleh muat and I am wearing baju kurung sebab baju lain dah pack...haha

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Hasta La Vista!

I'm leaving on a Jet Plane

 In another 30 hours I am required to pack all my stuffs and squeeze them into a tiny minuscule store room that contains 26 students stuffs. Yes, I am leaving Sungai Petani for good. I am going somewhere to find myself. Why? I feel so empty this few days. I have achieved everything that I want this semester, with all people around me yet I feel so lonely. Where am I going? It's a secret place. :) I will post the pictures later. For the time being, I want to be disconnected with the outside world.

Picture via

After that, I will be leaving Peninsular of Malaysia for my long holiday. In my opinion, it is not a holiday anyway since I am just bombarded by the news from my coordinator that I am required to develop my first 3 chapters of my thesis during holiday. Thus, UMS library will be my second home in December.

I just can't wait to kiss my little precious princess Sophia
I just can't wait to hug my mum tightly.
I just can't wait to sip my mother's chicken herb soup.
I just can't wait to smell my room.
I just can't wait to breath the fresh air of Borneo Island.

By now, I would like to wish HAPPY HOLIDAY to all the readers, my B.Ed TESL Cohort 4 members, my friends from UPSI and IPSAH, and juniors who are leaving Malaysia soon.
Wish I could fit in in this dress again!

Super Kenyang

FIF (Free Indian Food)

Cappati and curry,
om nom nom,
the teeth chomp chomp chomp,
the neighbours' dogs bark bark bark,
we talk, talk, talk,
and we go back, back, back,
with sleepy, sleepy smile. 

(To: Nasren (the driver), Adha (the kancil's owner which we manage to squeeze in 5 ppls who are losing weight konon!), Fahmy (Who just finished his exam), Syaher ( who has another paper tomorrow) and CK (who enjoys our company))

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Wall

When our hearts are shattered and broken
 into zillions pieces,
They will rise up again 
to build up 
stronger walls.
-Fadzillah Chin is not Fadzillah Amin. However, she has a dream to be like her one day.-

Image via

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

We were in Thailand!

I had a plan to go to to Hatyai with my bestfriend , Widya. We planned not to go back to our hometown during Eid. There were few reactions on this. 

Mummy: Are you sure about this, sayang? Are you sure about Thailand?
My mummy is a type of mother who would always trust her children. She would always let her children to make their choice. However, there would be something else that made her not to let me go.

Friends: Betul ke kau nak pergi sana? Kau ni biar betul. Orang lain raya balik rumah.
Number One: My house is in Sabah. I need to book the flight ticket earlier or else I need to pay RM 1500.
Number Two: I've not been celebrating Raya for 5 years. Asam Laksa Instant Noodles is common morning delicacies for me.

Finally, Widya told me that she was required to go back. Instead of continuing her research (yeah, she's doing her Master Degree in Chemistry, I am still doing my 6-year degree in B.Ed TESL fuhhhh), her mother asked her to go back.

So, there it goes. I was left alone in my hostel back in Sungai Petani. Even Hantu dan Kucing pun balik raya. 

One thing that I regret of not going to Thailand is to try their food. I heard a lot about the Tom Yam, glutinous rice with mango and other sumptuous food. Thus, the urge of trying Siamese food is throbbing in my mind. Thus, after 'melantak' in Secret Recipe in Central Square (Oh yeah, this is a common mall that people of SP always go), we (Mila, Sue and I) decided to try the food in a cafe next to SR outlet. Guess what? I dream that I am somewhere in Phuket trying out the heavenly mango and glutinous rice. 

Do I still have the urge to go to Hat Yai. Yup. Next semester , we'll see. 
P/S I forget the name of the cafe.

Image Via