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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Teater Dari M ke M

To all Kici Mayung Theater Production,
I genuinely miss you guys.

 punit (make up artist), edwina (perempuan), jes (makcik jual kueh)

Ahmad Shahril a.k.a Abe sebagai Abang M

We were studying before the performance. (From left Terry (Lighting a.k.a Penataan Cahaya), Muah (Art Director), Herman (Sound a.k.a Penataan Bunyi) and William, (Technical)

Still smiling although we are nervous like hell.

Stars/ Para Pelakon
Aisyah- Mona
Abe- Abg M
Edwina- Perempuan
Jessica-Makcik Penjual Kuih


Pengarah: Norfadzillah Chin (gila kuasa  sikit hahahha)
Penolong Pengarah: Aisyah
Props: Adila Musa, Chow Sau Keng, Farid
Juruteknikal Penataan Cahaya: Terry Siricord
Juruteknikal Bunyi dan Efek Audio: Herman
Tatarias dan Pakaian: Jenny, Punit
Handy Girls: Hezy, Maisrah and Nurul
Juruteknikal khas: William

Excuse Me!

Excuse Me!
Allow myself to ask your permission
Allow myself to be imperfect,
Allow myself to believe that beauty is not skin,
Allow myself to have a gummy smile,
Allow myself to pinch the red pimples,
Allow myself to have an eye bag.
Allow myself not to be beautiful but brilliant.

Excuse Me!
Allow myself to ask your permission
Allow myself to have a sharp tongue,
Allow myself to be moody,
Allow myself to be zany,
Allow myself to carve a scar in my friend's heart,
Allow myself to fall in love and fall out of love,
Allow myself to  extra nicer to back stabber.

Excuse Me!
Please allow myself to ask your permission
Allow myself to write a crappy poem,
Allow myself to realize not to give an ear on what you say,
Allow myself to end it here.

Yours Truly,
Allow myself to be anonymous

                                                                                                         Teacher Quarters
                                                                                                          Keningau, Sabah
                                                                                                       (27.11.2010, 19.08)

p/s to this extent, Fadzillah Chin is still not Fadzillah Amin, but she intends to be like her one day.

Friday, November 26, 2010

My room

My mother is going to be retired next March in 2011 from a school in Keningau after more than 20 years being an educator. Sadly, we are going to leave the indescribably beautiful town of Keningau for good. We are leaving for Kota Kinabalu which is my parents' hometown. This semester break will be my last period to  be spent at my home. Although it is only a headmistress' quarters, there are a lot of both happy and sad memories took place in this place. I spent most of my time in my room when I'm home.
My room is also a place where my good friends will overnight if they are visiting me.

1. Desk

This is my work station. I used to have two similar size tables. However, my mother took one of the tables when I went out for my studies in Kedah. The cover is actually a second hand picnic mat that I bought for RM3. The table lamp was bought by my mum when I was in Form 1.Meanwhile, I always have fresh bunga rampai when I'm at home. The fresh fragrant mixture of daun pandan, flowers and saffron oil is a therapeutic element for me.

A side table that I used to put other knick knacks. Yes, I love daun  mengkuang crafts, and I get the 3 sizes rattan basket for only rm 7 in Pasar Putatan, KK.

Bunga rampai, Mr. Dell, Handphones, Mr Zebra, and books
Tonnes of works

2.My books

These boxes are full with my books. Some of my books are already sent to our house in KK. Yerp, you can see there are several other things on top of it (My green teddy named Miss Trudy, my journals, bags etc). One of the boxes is half full with unread books.

3.Mirrors and face stuffs.

The mirror is actually an antique from my late arwah atok. I am not really into make up as you can see. However, I have several facial stuffs that my mum make me to wear. And of course, Vitamins tablets and perfumes. (yerp, a lot of those I know :) )
Lamp from Kak Rose, Perfumes, Vitamins, Face Stuff, Mr Bulat, Wrislet , Kain Puah Kumbu from Sarawak
Mirror Mirror, who is the most beautiful woman? Well, u can see the answer. LOL

4. Posters. pictures and several other stuffs

Student Life by Sireh
Keychains and pictures

I used to buy Malaysian comic APO? when I was in high school just because I love Student Life section. To the extent that I collect the posters and made several of them as pictures in my room. The pictures of clarinet  was given by my best friend Priesilla when I celebrated my sweet 16 birthday.  The Key Chains are collection  given by peoples, friends and simply collected it from anywhere around the globe.

5. Bed

The pillows are bare without the covers hahahaha...The top pillow is actually considered as  my bantal busuk since I was 9.
I used to sleep here for years. Till 5 years ago I decided to sleep with my mum just because I think that I couldnt meet her for months if I go back to the peninsular. However, I will take my nap here sometimes.

6. Windows

This is my favourite curtain ever. That's why it is in my room. LOL. I love the pink hydrangea on it. While it gives soft and fresh touch to my room. I am a type of person who love bright rooms, except when I am sleeping.
It took an hour to upload this senget picture. If you want to see the image clearly please turn  your laptop or head. LOL

Our own natural swimming pool from my bedroom window.
The respective quarters is situated in the school compound.You could see several buildings block my view to the spacious school’s field. Some of the old buildings are still there and there will be a new project to renew them. 


Right now I am

3 tones darker than average Sabahan

Taller than average Sabahan girls

Fatter than average Sabahan women

Am I going through metamorphosis transformation after 6 years?

Monday, November 22, 2010

Happiness is...

Happiness is blank in my primary mind. To be honest, I can't really be happy on what I have, and I am not even really sad when I lost something. What had happened to me? Am I really stoned with too much issues in my life? Sometimes I beg that my old soul will be young again. I used to pray for all these painful memories to vanish into the air.

I used to wish that my family portrait is perfect. With all the big grins on Hari Raya, Gong Xi Fatt Chai, or whatever celebration, you named it. I wish that it is never too late for me to know somebody in my family tree. However, situations detained me to be enable to improve things that had already happened.

I used to regret of letting a real relationship ends. I feel empty when the person left me alone. We had a plan. Maybe one of his plan is to leave me. Who knows? His silence used to be deafening. It used to bleed my ears, which every drop of blood act like an acid to my skin. It penetrates my heart till it crumpled to be a stone and shattered into pieces.

I used to dream this and that. I used to crave for every fine things, every luxurious stuff. Then, I realizes that I wouldn't live forever. 

I still have no idea what is happiness in my life. Is it about love, satisfaction or what? What is happiness? Am I too old to forget this simple single concept? I realized that all of memories are more like a blur picture. My friends make me realize I did something which is unnecessary to hurt myself and others. The worst part is I lost in the sea of questions how and why this thing happened.

Still, happiness is blank in my primary mind.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Simple Pleasure

I wake up early today. Hunger pangs me. My stomach sends a signal to my brain that I crave of half boiled eggs and nescafe kaw. Thus, I drag my feet to our kitchen after morning prayer and start boiling the eggs and make a mug of nescafe kaw.After that I start my day with some reading and journal writing. Life teaches me that simple pleasure is still a blessing. :-)

My Mr. Dell, novel by Carlos Ruiz Zafon, Journal and Breakfast.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Vanish into the air

It has been a long time I never spent my time to sit still and listen to the sound of nature, breath the fresh air, smell the fresh cutting grass and laugh on stupid jokes without thinking of works. Don't forget, eat till I forget that I am on diet. lol.

Where did I go for 3 days?

  • Fahmie's house.
          If you want to know who is Fahmi Abidin, he is one of my closed friends in IPSAH. He just ended his 
degree in Art Education and soon he will be called as Cikgu Fahmi. Nasrin, Jack and I who act as if we don't have our own kampung went to his house for Eid Adha. It is an absolutely an ideal choice to be in his house instead of spending eerie nights in IPSAH.Unfortunately, we hadn't taken any picture in Fahmi's house. By the way, he lives in Kuala Nerang.

  • Uncle Osman's Kenduri
They served the best Soy Sauce Beef. Enough saying. Uncle Osman is a closed friend to my family while he was teaching in Sabah. While we were eating in his kenduri, we came out with a theory that the best tea or nescafe that we could find in Malaysia is Teh or Nescafe Kenduri. Jack came out with the explanation that the village folks are using more milk and tea to serve the best tea.

  • Pekan Rabu
Jacques, Nasrin, Fahmi and Fauzan (another photo shoot experiment)

Those who know me well will notice how I hate shopping for cooking ingredients. I was forced to be in here to buy segala pesanan mak-mak dari Negeri Di Bawah Bayu. However, we took the opportunity to snap several beautiful evening scenes in Alor Setar.
Baru berjinak-jinak dengan kamera Fahmi

Dawn at Alor Setar

  • Old House in Alor Setar 
These kind of houses could be found as an evident that Malaysia was once being colonized by British. We don't know any history of this house. We found this house while we were going to Fahmi's relatives house. Sempat lah jugak pose sana sini hahaha.

Jack, Me and Nasrin in front of the abandoned house with our beloved SAGA.

Model Baju Kenduri (Credit to Pamie)

Di belakang tabir pengambaran

One of my experiments.

Narcissist in action! hahahahaha

  •  Perlis
We were visiting Kathy's house. As the so-called English Teacher-to-be, Nasrin and I were shocked when we found a boy from a village boy who could speak beautiful English. 

Kathy, masakan kau amat sedap!!! sayangggg Kathy hahahha...

Kathy, Kak Cik, Aisyah and Teha

  • Photo that I love the most 
Credit to Fahmi Abidin

First Thing First

  • Celebrating Eid Adha at Fahmie's.
  • Visit Uncle Othman
  • Packing
  • Check In at Bayan Lepas Airport
  • Talk to a stranger which happened to be my junior.
  • Fly
  • Arrive at Sabah International Airport
  • Driving home
  • Kiss and Hug Sophia
  • Buy a trainer
  • Going back to Keningau
  • Read Robert Fisk's book
  • UMS library
  • Ongoing diet

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Sedang menunggu

I am waiting for Nasrin, Fahmy, Kak Cik and Jack to reach SP. They are fetching Jack who is a teacher in Sandakan, Sabah. In few days, it will be my turn to be sent to Sabah.
Sakit pinggang tunggu korang.
Oh! stor takleh muat and I am wearing baju kurung sebab baju lain dah pack...haha

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Hasta La Vista!

I'm leaving on a Jet Plane

 In another 30 hours I am required to pack all my stuffs and squeeze them into a tiny minuscule store room that contains 26 students stuffs. Yes, I am leaving Sungai Petani for good. I am going somewhere to find myself. Why? I feel so empty this few days. I have achieved everything that I want this semester, with all people around me yet I feel so lonely. Where am I going? It's a secret place. :) I will post the pictures later. For the time being, I want to be disconnected with the outside world.

Picture via

After that, I will be leaving Peninsular of Malaysia for my long holiday. In my opinion, it is not a holiday anyway since I am just bombarded by the news from my coordinator that I am required to develop my first 3 chapters of my thesis during holiday. Thus, UMS library will be my second home in December.

I just can't wait to kiss my little precious princess Sophia
I just can't wait to hug my mum tightly.
I just can't wait to sip my mother's chicken herb soup.
I just can't wait to smell my room.
I just can't wait to breath the fresh air of Borneo Island.

By now, I would like to wish HAPPY HOLIDAY to all the readers, my B.Ed TESL Cohort 4 members, my friends from UPSI and IPSAH, and juniors who are leaving Malaysia soon.
Wish I could fit in in this dress again!

Super Kenyang

FIF (Free Indian Food)

Cappati and curry,
om nom nom,
the teeth chomp chomp chomp,
the neighbours' dogs bark bark bark,
we talk, talk, talk,
and we go back, back, back,
with sleepy, sleepy smile. 

(To: Nasren (the driver), Adha (the kancil's owner which we manage to squeeze in 5 ppls who are losing weight konon!), Fahmy (Who just finished his exam), Syaher ( who has another paper tomorrow) and CK (who enjoys our company))

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Wall

When our hearts are shattered and broken
 into zillions pieces,
They will rise up again 
to build up 
stronger walls.
-Fadzillah Chin is not Fadzillah Amin. However, she has a dream to be like her one day.-

Image via

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

We were in Thailand!

I had a plan to go to to Hatyai with my bestfriend , Widya. We planned not to go back to our hometown during Eid. There were few reactions on this. 

Mummy: Are you sure about this, sayang? Are you sure about Thailand?
My mummy is a type of mother who would always trust her children. She would always let her children to make their choice. However, there would be something else that made her not to let me go.

Friends: Betul ke kau nak pergi sana? Kau ni biar betul. Orang lain raya balik rumah.
Number One: My house is in Sabah. I need to book the flight ticket earlier or else I need to pay RM 1500.
Number Two: I've not been celebrating Raya for 5 years. Asam Laksa Instant Noodles is common morning delicacies for me.

Finally, Widya told me that she was required to go back. Instead of continuing her research (yeah, she's doing her Master Degree in Chemistry, I am still doing my 6-year degree in B.Ed TESL fuhhhh), her mother asked her to go back.

So, there it goes. I was left alone in my hostel back in Sungai Petani. Even Hantu dan Kucing pun balik raya. 

One thing that I regret of not going to Thailand is to try their food. I heard a lot about the Tom Yam, glutinous rice with mango and other sumptuous food. Thus, the urge of trying Siamese food is throbbing in my mind. Thus, after 'melantak' in Secret Recipe in Central Square (Oh yeah, this is a common mall that people of SP always go), we (Mila, Sue and I) decided to try the food in a cafe next to SR outlet. Guess what? I dream that I am somewhere in Phuket trying out the heavenly mango and glutinous rice. 

Do I still have the urge to go to Hat Yai. Yup. Next semester , we'll see. 
P/S I forget the name of the cafe.

Image Via

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Kekalutan Di Minda

Ini bahan aku yang pertama di dalam blog ini.
Aku adalah seorang bakal guru bahasa Inggeris.
Bahasa Asing.
Di ajar oleh orang asing.
Ilmu Tuhan adalah luas.

Kenapa aku berbahasa Melayu,
walau aku lahir di dalam keluarga 3 suku?
Nasib baik otak bukan 3 suku.
Sebab di rumah aku berbahasa Melayu dengan ibu,
Berbahasa Inggeris dengan ayah.
Ibu dan Ayah berbahasa indah, mungkin sebab itu mereka bertemu pada mulanya.

Praktikal mengajar selesai.
Lamaran proposal selesai.
Apa seterusnya?
Kahwin? HAHA.
'Lama lagilah babe'
'Anak perempuan jangan kahwin lambat'
kata mereka.
Eh, janganlah feminis.

Apa seterusnya?
Keluar ke bandar.
Naik bas berkarat.
Ya, aku punya hidup seperti warga marhain.
Ibu bapa jauh, pandai-pandai ku bawa diri.

Apa seterusnya?
Kemas bilik.
Tunggu keputusan esok hari.
Baca buku.