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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Eastern vs Western concept of parenting

I read Reader's Digest yesterday and I encountered an excerpt of a book published in that month respective issue (I can't remember which month it was from). The book is actually a parenting memoir of Amy Chua entitled "Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother" and as being interviewed by Reader's Digest, the respective book received many controversial opinions when its excerpt was once published in Wall Street Journal

Similarly to the parenting memoir of Amy Chua, my mum, who is a single parent is a 'Tiger Mother' herself. Being raised up by a single mother and growing up in a mix parentage background doesn't make my family different from other Asian family. In fact, I could see how different we are being raised up from my cousins or other relatives whom father or mum is a Westener; yerp, being 24 and still living with my mother.  She was a headmistress and we're living in a teacher's quarters before. Consequently, my mum is well-known for being a very strict English teacher and that character would never fade when  she was at home with me.

I am an excellent student. I got straight A's in most of my examinations and I did very well at school. Of course, there were times when I threw my tantrum and my mother was frustrated with me. But from the perspective of a child (who is considered 'pre' mature lol), it's not because on how my Asian single mother raised me up. The seed of patience, perseverance, hard works, doing my best and the most important 'nilai-nilai murni' of 'mengenang jasa orang tua' are being planted in me since I was a child. As a consequence, it motivates me to work harder and to believe ' Why B+ if you can get an A?' as Amy Chua emphasized in her interview.

The critics that Amy Chua received based on her upbringings of being a strict Asian mother is unfair and judgemental. There are thousand out there, not only Asians in particular whom being brought up by strict parents. For example, in Malay family, we don't believe that physical abuse is necessary, but canning is a way to portray a warn. Sometimes I do think that canning would nurture a child to be afraid of his or her parents rather that to respect them, yet it really works in Asian (Malaysian) family. Yeah, a child could run at least 100km/h when his or her parents pronounce the word 'ROTAN'.

Besides that, the way Asians parents brought their children up is a way that convey Thomas Alva Edison's words;

                 "Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. "

In this case, my mum is my inspiration and I perspire through my life journey and that really teach me a lesson that "Kejayaan bukan datang bergolek" dan "Usaha Tangga Kejayaan" *.

Another thing is that Asian parents are streotyped to produce children to be always succesful in professionals field, music mastery and so on. Well, I am quiet agree on this opinion. This is because it could be seen on how my society is being obsessed by their children professions. As an evident, parents are very proud if their children manage to win a Medical Scholarship rather than a person who choose teaching which is a semi-professional profession. The golden rule is here; you are a throphy child if you choose your path of life with a popular profession rather than a profession that you really into. Personally, this is what I always faced in my life. I choose a profession as a teacher its not because thats the only course that I could get, it's just because that I rather see my students' faces rather than facing sick patients everyday. It's not that I'm saying that being a doctor is boring and I know that it doesn't suit me well. I may quit in the mid of my medical degree. Who knows?

Well, the bottom line is it is not your race that made you to choose your parenting style. It's more to what you believe the best of your children. I am an Asian, but I don't believe to raise up my voice to my future children when it is unnecessary.



Saturday, August 27, 2011

Blog Makeover

Yay!!! I can spend at least 1 hour staring on my Mr Dell's screen just because that I love, correction, SUPER LOVE my new blog layout. I made the header using the simplest tool in Windows Paint, put a favourite Convocation picture and a crop picture of a brain. It's white, it's simple, it's clean and I like it. I am a computer noob. As an evident, I have been wondering how others have the fish swimming in their blog. I have it now here (Right hand side)-------> I call them as MY ELECTRONIC KOI. It takes me a year to explore blogspot site just to find out all these applications. VERY KESIAN!!!

Slow and Steady Raya.

I am hoping for a slow and steady eid fitri as mummy had moved to Kota Kinabalu, and I don't have to think of assignments. This is my first raya after been away for 6 years. Yes, 6 damn years of Raya with instant noodles. Being alone at Raya morning in Peninsular Malaysia is sadder than being alone at Raya morning in UK, I guess. And yes, 6 damn years of raya with assignments and internet. Well, I guess that I am just too used with slow and steady Raya.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Bridesmaid for Dummies

A good friend of mine is getting married, and I am going to be the bridesmaid. Eventhough I am kinda refusing at first, yet my mum urged me to do so..."SUPAYA BERJANGKIT NAIK PELAMIN"

Monday, August 22, 2011

Daddy.

Sometimes some people couldn't understand what am I trying to say to them. Many parts of me are kept hidden, lying silently behind my cheerful life. Yes, I have other half sisters and brothers. They are my father's children before my dad divorced and married my mum. And yes my other siblings are non muslim as my father only converted to Islam before he married my mum. Things happen and life goes on. I met my sisters via Facebook. It's a wonder of Facebook...

Tonight, I cried to myself after I chat with my sister, Jennifer.

"I spoke to dad few days ago and he said he is proud of you, He just don;t know how to express his feelings. Dad never know how to express feelings one..."

I never know my dad.Really. My parents divorced when I was 4 and remarried. I have gone through a lot in my life, and people keep asking whether my dad still embrace Muslim or not. I wanna make things clear now, that I never asked this question to my dad. I struggle with mix feelings inside me and all I could do is to pray that Allah gives me the best, and I believe that the best would never be perfect.

Dad is very proud of me. It's only that he couldn't come to my convocation. I am her first daughter to grade with First Class Honours, he told me that. He told everyone about that.

Well, I cry tonight, not because of daddy left me when I was four, it's because that I never being fair judging my dad as I grew up.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Makcik Cleaner, Tukang Pungut Sampah, Pencuci Tandas.

I used to be ignorant. Yes, I am. I made a silly joke on these kinda job. Particularly, we categorised these jobs as blue-collared. Till one day, a good friend of mine in campus made a status of the job "Tukang Sapu" and he admitted that his mom is a tukang sapu. Reality pangs me. I don't know on how does it start that people, basically in Malaysia always make a mockery remark on these kinda job. Well, hey this is not the only time that I encountered this kind of remark. There was once, I don't know how, but I was in a group of people talking. A guy told us that his job is "Tukang Pungut Sampah" with a mockery laugh. This happened after I realised that blue-collared job is a serious business. Then, realise that I barely know this guy and I would not meet him after that moment, I told him that "My father is a tukang pungut sampah. and yeah, with his halal salary I studied and manage to be here". Well, its cliche and my clique would say I buat ayat poting, nut so what? He learnt his lesson and apology.

Well, how am I inspired to write down this entry. I was sitting on the couch while waiting for my Rice Porridge (Iftar Menu) is cooked. Habitually, I would switched on the TV and scan the channel. Coincidentally, the TV is set on Astro Ria and 'Kalau Berani, 1 VS 0' was on air. I stopped on that channel as Didi Alias was calling upon a bunch of 'Makcik Cleaner' to the studio, that later she explained that the aunties were to replace the artists that lost in the game. I really think that a cheapskate joke that I wonder why the audience laugh at them, and I wonder too why does the aunties agree to be on the studio. Isn't that we have an intelligent joke to be laugh at? and where does our sensitivities go?

Friday, August 5, 2011

Vanish...

I am just waiting to be vanished into the air...POOF!!!
But I can't...
Posting is not here yet. We are living with fears and uncertainties. Well, I hate that.
Just done with my Convocation Affairs. After so much drama. Hell yeah, I survived my wisdom teeth extraction 2 days before my flight.
I still remember how white the clinic was, and how nice the Dr is. After a few jabs, I can't talk, I was numb. The world was silent for a while. I found peace in myself, even hours after the extraction. I just need to be quiet for few hours. Anything or anyone need not my explanations.
Wish that I am always that numb so that I would not feel the pain. On the convocation day, I saw her smile. Not really that wide but it's a proud smile. I thought she never felt what does her bestfriend thought of her actions. Let it be as I am just an observer. Even I admitted that I am a hypocrite myself, well I smiled watching her from far.
I am happy right now. At least that I am happy that I made my mummy prouds of me. To the other side of family, well yeah I still feel that "i am 'the daughter' from Keningau who gets First Class Honours in University". Well daddy, this is for you too... :)