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Monday, August 22, 2011


Sometimes some people couldn't understand what am I trying to say to them. Many parts of me are kept hidden, lying silently behind my cheerful life. Yes, I have other half sisters and brothers. They are my father's children before my dad divorced and married my mum. And yes my other siblings are non muslim as my father only converted to Islam before he married my mum. Things happen and life goes on. I met my sisters via Facebook. It's a wonder of Facebook...

Tonight, I cried to myself after I chat with my sister, Jennifer.

"I spoke to dad few days ago and he said he is proud of you, He just don;t know how to express his feelings. Dad never know how to express feelings one..."

I never know my dad.Really. My parents divorced when I was 4 and remarried. I have gone through a lot in my life, and people keep asking whether my dad still embrace Muslim or not. I wanna make things clear now, that I never asked this question to my dad. I struggle with mix feelings inside me and all I could do is to pray that Allah gives me the best, and I believe that the best would never be perfect.

Dad is very proud of me. It's only that he couldn't come to my convocation. I am her first daughter to grade with First Class Honours, he told me that. He told everyone about that.

Well, I cry tonight, not because of daddy left me when I was four, it's because that I never being fair judging my dad as I grew up.

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