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Saturday, March 17, 2012

Header blog baru!

Okay babeh! This is my confession. I am a computer noob. Well, not that noob, but noob enough to give up trying photoshop, excel and so on. I am so jealous with those, especially girls and women bloggers who have  a beautiful layout. Well, since I believe in minimalism, I choose white as my layout. If you remember, my first handmade layout was a quirky combination of my painting in 'Paint' and my convocation picture. I found it unique, ugly but in a pretty way. Wohoo!



Tomorrow, I am going back to W.P Labuan. I have nothing to be done today and basically teman ibu ke gedung 1 Borneo. Beli blouse katanya. (Cerita ini tiada kaitan). By the way, I went back and felt that something has to be updated with my blog. I found this picture, taken months ago. By deriving the same concept of my old header, this is what have I done...


The picture is a reflection of mine on the small mirror, on top of my books. I dont know what are the significances of the UFO and giant daisy. So, don't mind to ask.

This is how I spent my last day of super precious holiday. :)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

I had such a quiet experience (of love)

“What is this poem all about?”

Krukkk..krukk...krukk..krukk...(ibarat bunyi cengkerik berpesta di kegelapan malam)

Suddenly a girl raised up her right hand, unconfidently.

“It’s about playboy, teacher”

Bingo. Her answer was not accurate, but it indicates that she got the idea what is the poem all about.

I was teaching a poem entitled “He had such a quiet eyes” .

The poem is an advice to girls on relationship.

I was a girl,  and I was once a teenager (and thanks God that I was a good one too BAHAHA). All I had was curiosity. I wonder what is so special of being in love, and I wonder why do the elders in my family will always advising me not to get into relationships in my high school.



Love is a mystery. It can be a splendid thing but I can’t explain what it is all about.  Been in a relationship before, but I never know what it is all about. Sometimes I do think that I am clueless about this issue. And it makes me wonder how am I going to aesthetically teaching this poem to my students... 

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Mind your manner!

"aaahhhh?!!"
"Apa???"

These are the two answers that always pissed me off when it happened that my students could not comprehend my instructions in class (or basically, they are simply doing other things).

It makes me pissed off. (Well, I know the level of my agility)

If it happened for the first time, I would tell them "Please use "I beg your pardon, teacher?", or just say "Sorry? I cant hear you."

But the simple "aaahhh?!!" and "apa?" replies are too synonyms with them. Eventhough I am an English teacher, still "Budi Bahasa Budaya Kita" should be practised in class.

Next mission is to tell the students to say "Please" and "Thank You"

Thursday, March 1, 2012

In loving memory of Muhammad Azwan Baharuddin

"Berapa kali sudah teacher cakap, organize your book! Jangan campu-campur sama latihan lain!!!!" Tidak ku endah lagi keadaan waktu itu. Dahiku berkerut seribu seperti gagah menahan marah dari terus terhambur. Tidak ku endah lagi bahasa apa yang dipertuturkan. Anak-anak ini seperti tidak memahami peraturan yang telah ku tetapkan dalam kelas. Dalam keadaan ingin terus membebel, tiba-tiba telefon berdering. Amat jarang sekali telefon berdering ketika waktu kerja, dan aku terlupa untuk meletak mod silent dalam telefon murahku itu.
"Ella, Abang Azwan macam mau nazak."Ibu ku teus menghamburkan berita itu. Kata-katanya ibarat pisau menusuk ke telinga ku.
"Ella dalam kelas ni mummy. Nanti ella call balik"
Seluruh angkatan tentera comel kelas 1 Intelek memandang tepat ke mukaku. Seperti mereka tahu ada sesuatu yang bakal berlaku. Bunyi saja loceng kaki ku menderap laju ke bilik guru, duduk terdiam, terluku di hadapan timbunan kerja seperti batu.
"Tunggulah dulu. Tengok dulu macamana" itu sahaja keputusan yang mampu aku buat. Dengan keadaan tidak berkenderaan dan sekolah yang amat sibuk, amat mustahil bagiku untuk ke Kota Kinabalu yang mengambil masa 3 jam dengan feri ekspress. Aku terus membuat kerja lain, walau fikiran menerawang memikirkan apa yang berlaku seterusnya.
Tiba sahaja di kelas 4 Pendeta, tiba-tiba message bersering. "You have 10 missed calls 087$%^&*" Htati mula gelisah. Jam 2 petang ada pertandingan debat. Anak-anak 4 Pendeta ini diberi pilihan sama ada mahu menonton atau menyiapkan kerja. Aku pula harus bergegas ke dewan sebagai hakim. Setelah beribu pesanan diberikan kepada mereka, aku turun ke bawah dan tiba-tiba disapa oleh tuan pengetua.
"Cikgu Fadzillah, ahli keluarga kamu call sekolah. Kamu disuruh balik kerana abang sepupu kamu sedang tenat"
Berderai sahaja tidak air mataku, mampu lagi aku tersenyum kelat ketika memberitahu guru kanan tentang masalahku. Tersenyum sahaja yang aku mampu bila mana tiada seorang pun yang mahu menghantar ku ke terminal feri. Aku bergegas ke pejabat meminta nombor telefon teksi.
"Nak, macam dalam keadaan tergesa-gesa, mahu ke mana?"
"Saya mahu pulang kk pakcik, abang saya sakit tenat"
"Marilah pakcik hantarkan kamu"
Ya Allah, memang tidak disangka ada manusia yang masih mahu membantu walau pakcik itu hanya pemandu bas sekolah.
Perjalanan ke bandar Victoria kurasakan beribu batu. Sungguh jauh, sungguh terbeban di hati. Pakcik tersebut bawa ku bercerita. Sempat lagi dia menasihatkan aku "Buat kerja untuk Allah swt. Cikgu ni pekerjaan yang amat mulia. Nanti ada dividen di 'sana'".
Setibanya aku di terminal feri, tergesa-gesa aku mencari penambang speed boat. RM15 dihulkur segera. Ku berdiri 5 minit menghadap laut cina selatan. Sekali lagi telefon berbunyi. Nombor ibuku terpapar di skrin

"Ella, Abang Azwan dah meninggal dunia".

>>>>....<<<<

Selepas jenazah dikebumikan, Arif , anak kedua arwah yang amat rapat kepada ku duduk diam di sampingku. Hujan lebat semasa majlis pengebumian tidak mematahkan semangat warga kampung putatan dan masjid bandaraya untuk bertungkus lumus. Keadaan tanah kubur seperti bukit membuatkan kami duduk di unjuran jubin kuburan. Arif duduk di pangkuan, di bawah oayung biru.
"Kak Ella, sejuk."
"Kita semua basah ni sayang."
"Kenapa papa mati? Arif ingat papa sakit saja"
"Kita semua nanti akan mati satu hari nanti"
"Tadi papa kena balut kain putih. Macam selimut. Papa dalam tanah sudahkah?"
"Iya"
"Arif lapar"
"Kak ella pun lapar. Sabar ok sayang. Nanti kita makan"

Pulangnya kami ke Sepanggar dalam keadaan senyap. Hanya esakan tangis mummy ainah dan uncle bahar yang kedengaran.

Al Fatihah

Arwah and I in Kundasang 1992