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Friday, February 28, 2014

How do I 'waste' my youth...

I am currently living in my upside down life. I don;t have much time but this is so overblowing and I have to type it here, so that, one day, after I have earned my PhD, I would read this back and laugh at myself.

I am too exhausted. My life as a teacher start at 0615 everyday and ends at 1600. I am teaching 20 hours a week, which literally it has taken 6 hours of my lesson planning and material preparation time. I am also a postgraduate student.

To be honest, the study part (despite of being forever confused), doesn't give me any problem at all. I love being "CONFUSED"... But I am lireally burnt out with the teaching job.

But I do feel that I couldn't handle this life anymore. I can't do anything that I like. By the time I reach home, I will right away drift into my dreamland. I don't exercise anymore. Well, GURU MEMANG IBARAT LILIN.

I have not submitted my proposal, even to my supervisor. I am too afraid of being rejected. Do life always have to deal with fears. I am kinda one-month behind the schedule.

Since this January, I never have any weekend anymore. I cramped my weekends with thesis typing, lesson planning and GOD-KNOWS-WHAT-DOES-IT-TAKE to be a teacher.

Currently, I am sitting at my favourite spot at UMSKAL library. Well, not really a favourite because a girl has taken my favourite which is a table away from the place I am sitting. I wish UMSKAL is bigger and has a cubicle room which I could lock all my things inside the small room and just go away for lunch and prayers.

The 'real' favourite space